I'm going to jail i love you
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Girls should come with a carfax report
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I believe in your delicious
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
