Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
