i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
