I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
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She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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