His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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