I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
