come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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