And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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