We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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