Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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