hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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