do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
foreskin is a definite game changer
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
