She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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