I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
