I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.