I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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