i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize