There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i am craving dick and cupcakes
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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