i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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