He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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