Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
