If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
