yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
