ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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