We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
