Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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