but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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