from now on my penis is your penis
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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