He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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