At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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