Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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