So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
