I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
