how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I am available for nakedness
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
