nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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