Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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