a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
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Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
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Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
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