This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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