Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
pray to the hookup gods
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
