I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
