i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
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