Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize