More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
