What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
