East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
