listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize