dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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