What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
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Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
