omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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