so explain again why im purple
no
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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