you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you have to choose: penises or morals?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
