yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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