Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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