He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
