That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
