my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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